Forgiveness –> Unity –> Joy |
Unforgiveness –> Disunity –> Bitterness |
We want to be forgiven, by others and by God, but we must also be forgiving. To forgive is to grant relief from payment, sin, trespass, or obligation. If someone is indebted to me, should I not be paid? Don't I deserve to receive that which I am owed? Well, the truth is the value of this kind of debt that I am owed never outweighs the debt I myself owe and cannot pay. I think maybe it would be a good idea to get good at forgiving.
"If I cannot pay, how can I expect others to?"
Click here for more on God’s forgiveness.
Does your family get along? Do you work together to accomplish things? Can people lay aside their own personal desires for awhile in order to have agreement, consensus and harmony? Ask yourself the same questions about your friendships, your team at work, or people at school.
If you said “no” to all of these, then you’re not experiencing unity in your family. If you said “yes” to these questions, then you’re seeing unity with the people that you’re around the most.
It’s possible that disunity or even bitterness (contributing to misery) is a result of unforgiveness. If it’s hard at first to forgive, try forgiveness as a decision, rather than an emotion. Then remember that you made that choice. You will be surprised at the way your relationships improve.
It could be that you need to ask someone for forgiveness for something you’ve done. The person will most likely respect you for your humility and agree to that forgiveness. Joy comes as a result of healed relationships. You may find that you’re soon getting along better than ever!
Click here to see a 4 minute Spiderman 3 video all about forgiveness.
Patience –> Order –> Peace |
Impatience –> Disorder –> Confusion |
Think about those areas where you might be frustrated, and possibly even confused about that circumstance. Confusion will bring about misery. How about slowing down your expectation of yourself, another person, or a situation that you’re feeling impatient with? God will, if you ask, give you some ideas about what steps you could take – something you might say or do at the right time to bring you peace of mind.
Do you find that you’re often in a hurry? Do you find that you want people to do things your way? Do you find yourself impatient with certain circumstances? Are you sometimes even frustrated with yourself and want to accomplish something sooner than you are able?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you may be allowing your own impatience to cause you to do things out of order, bringing disorder and more misery. Instead, start sowing patience by slowing down, being quick to listen and slow to speak. You will soon start seeing things around you come into order, but also feel more peace within yourself and in your relationships.
Humility –> Acceptance –> Security |
Dishonor –> Rejection –> Anger |
Is someone expressing anger toward you? Are you angry with someone else? Can you think of a time when you have dishonored another person? Somewhere along the way, many families have lost sight of honoring one another, and so we treat others in a way that causes negative reactions and rejection and more anger!
If this sounds like something you’ve noticed, think about a time when you might have dishonored someone. It’s never too late to talk to that person in a humble tone and show them honor. You may even want to ask for forgiveness. Rather than rejecting you because you’ve dishonored them, they will likely show you greater acceptance. It’s very possible that your relationship will improve, and you’ll experience greater self-worth and a sense of security knowing that you’re doing the right thing. But it must start with humility.
Respect –> Admiration –> Friendship |
Disrespect –> Enemies –> Loneliness |
Are there people around you that you just don’t care for? Do they annoy you? Most of us get annoyed most by the people we’re around the most, such as our family, friends, co-workers, teachers, and classmates.
You may not even realize that your tone of voice or words can be condescending, mocking, sarcastic, and generally demonstrating disrespect. Give it some thought. Better yet, ask someone if that describes you. (This would require some real humility.) Having enemies or experiencing loneliness can be a result of letting this attitude of disrespect show.
Start by changing the way you think about people… Start showing them respect and you will soon notice others respecting and admiring you. Your friendships with your family, co-workers and those that you hang out with will certainly show a change for the better.
Honesty –> Trust –> Confidence |
Lies/Deceit –> Distrust –> Suspicion |
Do people trust you? When you say you will do something, do they believe you or are they suspicious? Perhaps you’ve given them reason to distrust you. If you want people to have confidence in you, you must earn their trust. That takes time, and it starts with being honest.
Are you honest with yourself and with others? Do you have a clear conscience? Ask yourself, “How committed am I to always telling the truth?” If you’re not, why not? Is there something that you’re doing that you need to cover up or lie about?”
If you must admit that you’re caught in the trap of making choices that cause you to lie or cover-up, then your challenge is two-fold: 1) Stop doing that thing that you have to lie about, and 2) Start telling the truth. This is sowing the seed of honesty that will bring you a harvest of confidence.
Are you familiar with the Ten Commandments? “You shall not lie” was taught by God himself to Moses and the Israelite people in ancient times. This is a fundamental command, and if our lives have deceit in them, we will surely continue to have misery. The good news is that God will certainly help you live an honest life. After some time of living truthfully and re-building the trust of those around you, you’ll find you have more confidence in yourself and you’ll find you are living a more happy and healthy lifestyle.
You should consider confiding in someone about the behavior you need to change so they can give you accountability. Accountability is a good thing, if it’s with someone you look up to and cares enough about you to confront you if they see you acting out that same bad behavior again.
See BELIEVING to get started with a whole new direction.
Self-Control –> Responsibility –> Privileges
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Recklessness –> Irresponsibility –> Restrictions |
Do you see many limits and restrictions in your life? Could they be a result of your own irresponsibility? Would you like people to trust you and give you privileges and freedom? Are you willing to take on responsibility and exercise the discipline that will be required? Are you willing to deny yourself a certain pleasure if you know it’s not the best thing for yourself or someone else? Exercising the needed discipline to get a job done, and denying yourself something when it’s not a good thing are both good examples of using self-control.
It could be that you haven’t been willing to admit that recklessness or impulsive choices have led to the limits, disappointments, or restrictions that you currently have in your life, but if you’re tired of the misery that way of living brings, you can choose to change. If you want greater privileges, you’ll have to start with self-control.
There is great hope for any person who wants to plant seeds of self-control in their life. It starts with deciding to do just that, and then making a plan to follow through. You will find that living a self-controlled life gives you the ability to handle more responsibilities, and others will notice that you’re ready for them. Soon, you’ll enjoy the privileges that come will those responsibilities, such as a steady job, or the trust of your parents or friends.
Commitment –> Perseverance –> Strength
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Uncommitted –> Insecurity –> Weakness |
Do you feel insecure? Is that growing into a weakness in your character that you wish was different? Would you like to have more self-respect and strength in your character?
To become a stronger person of character, it may require a commitment, a decision to stick with a plan, and perseverance over a period of time to grow in that area. If you persevere in this over time, you will become a stronger person who has much to offer those around you. You will live each day with a true sense of purpose in the world.
Would you like to make a difference while you are living on planet earth? Would you like to escape the misery of being insecure and giving into emotional or behavioral weakness? Commitment and perseverance can be difficult. God can give you the daily ability you need to develop this strength in your character. See Believing for more on this subject.
Discipline–> Character –> Success
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Undisciplined –> Disruption –> Disorder |
Would you consider your life successful?
Success isn’t about having money or a lot of nice things. The type of success that is healthy and brings authentic happiness is fulfillment and contentment. Through living a disciplined life, a person can stay on track toward balanced, fruitful living with true depth of character. Discipline often means a person has to deny themselves a temporary pleasure in order to gain the longer-term benefit. It often requires just working hard and being determined to keep at it.
On the flip side, when a person is undisciplined, they cannot make progress. For example, to finish high school or college requires discipline. To train for a new job requires discipline of getting enough rest, arriving at work on time, and concentrating on the task at hand. An undisciplined person might get distracted easily and get off-track, experiencing disruption and disorder. The opportunity might be taken away from them.
Success comes to those who aren’t afraid of hard work. It comes in many ways, but it always starts with discipline. Where do you need to start? Where does your character need to be strengthened? What areas are currently being planted with undisciplined seeds? What choices do you need to make in order to change disruption and disorder to a harvest of success?
